Go ahead, call me if you dare


Rev. James L. Snyder - Contributing Columnist



The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I had a very busy week and by Thursday we had accomplished a lot, or at least we thought we had. We had lunch with a very good friend and enjoyed ourselves tremendously.

On our way home I mentioned to my wife that I was feeling tired and I probably could do with a power nap.

Nothing feels better to me than stretching out on my easy chair, closing my eyes and drifting off into Lala land, of which I am a frequent visitor.

I am not quite sure how long I was sleeping, but suddenly I heard a weird noise that awakened me. That weird noise was the telephone ringing.

The call was from some health agency that had a deep concern about my health. More particularly, they had solutions for pains I was experiencing.

“I understand,” the person on the other end of the telephone said very businesslike, “that you are having problems with pain in your body.”

“No, sir,” I said with a healthy yawn, “there ain’t no pain here.”

Without giving me time to respond, he continued, “I believe you qualify for one of our back braces to help manage your back pain.”

“No, sir,” I said most pathetically, “nobody here has that kind of pain.”

Finally, he said, “What kind of pain does anybody in your household have that we could address today?”

I was about to hang up on him when a few gray cells woke up from their power nap and nudged me with a thought.

“Now that you mentioned it,” I said as seriously as possible, “there is a pain here that perhaps you could help me with.”

“Yes, sir,” he said most enthusiastically, “we want to help you with all the pain that you might have. How can we help you today? What is your pain?”

“Well, sir,” I said rather slowly, “I have this throbbing pain in my neck. How in the world can you help me with that?”

I noticed his pause at the other end of the telephone. Then I heard the question I was waiting for.

“Where did you get this pain in the neck? And how in the world can I help?”

Without any pause, I jumped in and said, “My pain in the neck is from people like you calling me and disturbing me in my nap. The only way you can help me is to quit calling me!”

[Click]

With that click, he cured my pain in the neck. If all pain could be solved that quickly this world would be a much better place I am sure.

A little while later my wife came into the parsonage, took one look at me and said, “Why do you look so happy? Did your nap work for you today?”

“No,” I said with a little giggle, “I just got rid of a pain in the neck.”

I could not help but think of one of my favorite Proverbs. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22).

With all the agitation in the world, a person is sometimes tempted to get all caught up with bitterness and anger. I have learned the hard way, that the best way to deal with agitation is to make fun of it so that somebody laughs, particularly me.

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Rev. James L. Snyder

Contributing Columnist

Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 1-866-552-2543, 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. His website is www.jamessnyderministries.com. The church website is www.whatafellowship.com.

Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 1-866-552-2543, 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. His website is www.jamessnyderministries.com. The church website is www.whatafellowship.com.