There are all kinds of questions in this world of ours. Most are rather annoying. It would not surprise me in the least if there were a gang of hooligans somewhere hired to make up silly questions. If I could find this gang, I would disperse them immediately, without a question.
Of course, there is the fact that the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is in cahoots with these question-maker-uppers. Every once in awhile she comes up with questions for Yours Truly.
It is not the questions I object to but rather the answers I am supposed to give in connection to the questions. My wife has a silly notion that the answers I give should be in direct correlation to the questions she asked. Who made up this rule? Oops, that was a question. Sorry about that.
It is my opinion, and mine alone, especially in my home, that if I am asked a question I should have the option to give the answer I want to give whether it relates to the question or not. My wife insists my answer should be a response to her question.
Last week, for example, she put to me a very penetrating question. ”What is that awful smell?”
I would not have taken offense to the question so much, but she was looking straight at me when she posed it. What I took from the question was that I, for some reason unbeknownst to me, smelled pretty bad. Even though it was not Saturday night, I took the hint and marched my raunchy body to the bathroom for a bath.
My wife has superhuman smelling properties. She can smell a rotten apple while it is still a blossom on the apple tree.
On the drive to the office, I noticed something rather peculiar. My car stank. There was some terrible odor in my car that I could not identify.
I arrived at my office, got seated behind my desk and began some work when I noticed something peculiar. My office stank.
Finally I gave up and went home.
”What is that awful smell?” My wife was looking straight at me with the obvious conclusion that the smell was coming from my direction.
”Where is that smell coming from?” my wife demanded as she approached me with her nostrils flaring. The closer she got to me the more her nose wrinkled in agony. It was then she made a startling conclusion.
”That odor is coming from you. You stink.”
Well, if words could kill you would be reading a very nice obituary in the newspaper this morning. I was deeply offended by this observation.
When she got close to me, she examined my person very carefully and then looked down at my shoes. ”How long have you had those shoes?”
They were my favorite shoes so I had them quite a long time. I mumbled something like about five years.
”Aha, it is your shoes that stink. Those shoes are rotten and you will have to throw them out. I do not want to see those shoes in this house ever again.”
I was reminded of a verse in the Bible. ”For though thou wash thee with nitre, and take thee much soap, yet thine iniquity is marked before me, saith the Lord God.” (Jeremiah 2:22 King James Version).
You can clean up all you want to but if you are still wearing rotten shoes you still stink.
Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 1-866-552-2543, 352-687-4240 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. His website is www.jamessnyderministries.com. The church website is www.whatafellowship.com.