There’s a big, black bird that comes at the end of January to perch on my shoulder. A constant presence, its talons dig in just enough to remind me it’s there. Oh, yes it weighs a ton.
After two and a half months — the middle of April — its weight is really oppressive. I have to get rid of it. Then, suddenly it’s gone — along with a chunk of me (or at least my wallet).
By now you must have figured out what plagues me, you and all the rest of us annually — it’s the Tax Vulture. The sooner you pay what it demands to fly off your shoulder and leave you alone until January 2015, the faster you’ll feel the annual relief when you don’t have it hanging around to worry you.
Of course, you could file an extension on April 15 and buy a little more time before you have to pay, but the Tax Vulture would just sit there on your shoulder getting heavier all the time. Your little bit of extra time to pay up would lessen the months between annual visits. Consider also if the extended date slides by, you will be in a world of hurt. You do not want the whole flock, the IRS, the State of Ohio and your local municipality, perched on your shoulders, giving you the fish eye all at once. Trust me it’s true.
If you haven’t already sent the Tax Vulture away until next year (in a flurry of receipts marked 2013), don’t despair. You can join the solemn parade to the post office to send an extension, which will buy you another six months if you really need it (until Oct. 15) or have your tax return stamped by midnight on April 15 and be done with it.
I hope tax time leaves you with enough money to have some beans and weenies for dinner on Wednesday. Who knows? This year if you’re lucky the Tax Vulture just might pay you.
For the beans:
2 strips hickory smoked bacon
1 15 ounce can baked beans
4 tablespoons molasses
4 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons yellow mustard
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a small skillet, fry the bacon. Drain bacon and set aside. Add rest of ingredients to bacon fat. Mix well in an oven-proof 2-quart casserole dish.
Crumble bacon strips and sprinkle over top of beans. Place in preheated oven.
For the weenies:
1 package (8) good quality beef hot dogs, such as Nathan’s or Hebrew National
1 package (8) Crescent Rolls
Oven will be preheated for baked beans.
Separate Crescent Rolls into 8 triangles of dough. Starting with short side, roll dough around weenies. Place on a sprayed cookie sheet (without edges touching) with bottom (pointed) edge down. When 8 rolled weenies are on the cookie sheet, slide them in beside the beans.
Bake 20 minutes to brown the rolls and heat the weenies. Remove from oven and serve at the same time.
Bon appetite and happy tax time.
Linda Conway Eriksson can be reached by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.