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How to spend lottery winnings? Ask Twitter

By Robert Treynor

6 months 23 days 1 hours ago |397 Views | | | Email | Print

Well, I didn’t the lottery. There’ll be no $600 million check under the Christmas tree this year. Oh well, I can always dream that I’ll strike it rich next time.


My mom taught me that dreams are what you bought when you paid for a lottery ticket. The anticipation of winning, the imagination of what to spend the money on — that’s what your ticket bought you. If you actually happened to win, that’s just a bonus.


According to Twitter, my ideas as to how to spend my winnings were boring, trite. I’d have set up a college fund for the kids, put a new slate roof on the house, and gone on vacation. But even if I’d done all of that, I’d have a few hundred million dollars left over.


Luckily, Twitter users have some creative ideas as to how to spend it.


While a large number of Twitter users would spend their winnings paying off debt or getting breast enhancement surgery, there were plenty of unique ways to spend winnings tweeted out this week:


• @GoodOle_JR: Just spent the past 20 minutes on ferrari.com configuring my 458 Italia. Must. Win.


• @Neekah_Tijiri: I’d honestly buy so many marvel comic books if I won the lottery.


• @OhDeandrea: If I won the lottery I would fake my own death.


• @ULTRAkeroppi: If I won the lottery I’d buy a new liver on the black market.


• @1491s: I would buy an NFL team and rename them Oklahoma no matter what state they were located in.


• @RyRivadenerch: $650 MILLION, I’ll buy yous all a car.


• @OliviaKate22: If I won the lottery I’d probably blow it all at Target.


• @princessbrandy_: If Babi & I won the lottery we would buy so many Starbucks coffees.


• @hamdisucks: If I won the lottery I would buy the New York Giants and make them play in clown costumes.


• @dadsheelys: If I won the lottery I would spend it all on Sams Club hot dogs.


‏• @BigglezOfCourse: If I won the lottery I’d go around to stores with layaway and pay off everything.


• @Dr_Squirtle: If I won the lottery I’d buy a Taco Bell. I can make money and get free food. #priorities


• @becca_schmidt1: If I won the lottery I would buy so many guns and rob all the Taco Bells.


• @GerthaLovasYnrg: If I won the lottery, I’d go to so many job interviews in a mermaid costume and ask if sprinklers are allowed in the office to keep me moist.


• @DropThePuck76: If I won the lottery the first thing I would do is buy a Lamborghini. Then build an ice rink in my house.


• @ThatsAndyG: If I won the lottery last night, I would be in New York right now getting my face tattooed.


• @_Huggy_Bear: If I won the lottery I’d move to NYC and become batman.


‏• @Flying_Elbow: If I ever won the mega lottery I would apply for a seat on #SharkTank.


• ‏@Mr2Pens: If I won the lottery I would force FritoLay to start making the Monterey Jack Doritos in the black bag again.


• @IHxMP: If I won that lottery jackpot, I’d add the DVD option to my Netflix account… wouldn’t even think twice about it.


• @ErinShuler: Cloning my dog Georgia would be at the top of my list if I won the lottery.


• @Tuckerlewis03: If I ever won the lottery I would find myself a hot gold digger.


• @DayleBetts: If I won the lottery I would probably spend most of the money making other people unhappy.


The MegaMillions jackpot is back at a paltry $15 million this week. Not nearly enough to be Batman or to buy an NFL franchise.


I’ll have to scale back my dreams if I buy another ticket.

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